Grand Designs Scotland

The one with the turrets


It’s a year since work started on the renovation of The Five Turrets. The first few weeks mostly involved poking things and wincing. Episode 1: in which the new owners discover that Grade B listed buildings are expensive. Ring, ring... “Hello, is that The People Who Decide How Much Everything Is Going To Cost?” “If you mean the local council, rulers of this domain and lords over all who live within its borders, then yes, this is they. The king speaking.” “Er...we have a small waterfall running down the stair wall. The roofer says we need a new gutter in the roof valley. The architect says you want us to use lead. Because it’s traditional. But that’s going to cost £5,000. We’d rather use something from this century that costs a fraction of that and works.” “Hmm. This is most irregular. You’ve got a Grade B listed building there, of regional or more than local importance, as you well know. If we let you get away with this, the kingdom could be in peril. And we like lead.” “No one can see it. It’s hidden behind a turret. We’ve got enough water coming in to fill a swimming pool.” “You’ll need planning permission for a swimming pool. Can you prove that no one can see it?” “Well, we did send up a drone to photograph it.” “A drone? What sort of magic is this?” “It’s like a flying dragon that soars above the rooftops and returns to deliver a new kind of tapestry depiction of the building for the king’s amusement.” “Oh, well, that all makes perfect sense. Here’s an engraved manuscript giving you our blessing to proceed.” Coming soon, Episode 2, in which something else happens. It probably doesn’t go well. That’s how these things work. #renovation #ourstory #listedbuilding #architecture #history#scottishborders #scotland #tourism #tourist #selfcatering#accommodation